Exercise

Free styling with some structure

Now it is time to jump in the deep end. You have established that all people like sex, that no one deserves to be put on a pedestal and you have established what turns you on and what turns your partner on. Now it is time to practice, practice, practice.
For this the following steps can be used as a guideline. You can sit or lie opposite of each other and just start the following steps: 

Step 1 – Compliments

Step one is starting with giving your partner compliments. That can either be the compliments that describe that particular situation or compliments that you have prepared and that get you in the mood.  This will help the both of you to relax into the situation and avoids a steep increase of sexual energy that could feel awkward. To make sure the compliments are authentic and powerful, ask yourself this: 

• In what ways does she enrich my life now?

• How does being here with her inspire me to be a better person?

• What parts of her body or behavior turns me on?

• What kind of intimate thoughts do I have about her?

Step 2- Build up

During the build-up you can use all the words that your partner approved during the preparations in Section 4. He/she is aware that you are deliberately practicing your skills and that vulnerability gets her in the mood. There is no uncertainty what you want from her (to get her in the mood by your words) and she is likely happy to sink into that space.

Step 3 – Bring in your flavour

Now it is time to tell your partner what you are going to do with him/her. This can build up to your fantasies. Remember that the Receiver is turned on by your sexual energy, you are not in the business of turning your partner on, as that will feel forced. I have covered the topic with several women and some like pure role playing (for instance asking her to close her eyes and telling in her ear that a gang of men is standing in line, waiting to fuck her), others like a pure fantasy situation (you are a police officer and you suspect that she has got stashed her loot under her clothes) and some like you to exactly describe what you are doing (for instance telling her: “I am going to put my throbbing cock inside that juicy pussy of yours”).

Step 4 – Tease and withhold

She/she is probably pretty horny by now and wants to be penetrated by you, verbally, emotionally, with your pure presence and probably your cock too. Now could be the time to slow down, and give her instructions. For instance, tell her that if she wants your cock she has to stick out her tongue. Or –depending on how coherent she is- instruct her to point with her finger where she wants your cock. 

Step 5 – Go all the way in

This means you will show yourself completely, you will do what YOU find horny and you will be uninhibited. If you feel anger, show it, if you feel like a predator, express it, if you want to go hard pounding and full on, go for it. Usually at this point sounds and utterances are more important than a coherent narrative. It not only serves your full expression, but it will serve her getting out of her mind and into her body completely. It could become extremely silent inside of her, just your present and her radiance that meet each other. This is very vulnerable for the both of you and it is important that you stay present with her, observe what she does and keep your attention with her for 80% and with you for 20%. At this point in time it is easy to lose presence and go into a fantasy. This will be sensed by her and will feel unsafe. On the other hand, you both could get into a space of pure flow where the movements, connection, energy and words all seem to unfold automatically.

Step 6 - Closure

At some point it will naturally feel like a cycle is complete and the energy will decrease in intensity. She will then be allowed to regain her senses and get awareness again. She has probably shown herself in the most intimate way and you have likely called out some nasty shit. That is a deeply nourishing, but very vulnerable space. When the energy is lowered, do it slowly, lovingly and deliberately. Pulling out your cock abruptly or quickly turning away from her, or losing presence can feel very lonely and painful for her.

I suggest that you cuddle up against her and share some sweet words, on how special this is for you and how you appreciate her showing herself to you. It feels really safe and comforting to hold the back of her neck and the base of her spine. This reminds the body of being held as a baby. B before expressing your words of gratitude feel the gratitude first. Take your time. It helps to express it authentic and real.

Conclusion
Wow, only 5 sections covered and you are already being vulnerable, authentic and transparent. A very sexy quality. How did it go? I can understand that it could be anything from a total blast to a miserable failure. But remember that this is the first try. This core exercise can be repeated as many times as needed. And have some humour about it. You have done a beautiful thing, no matter the outcome, and that is getting out of your comfort zone.